Tips to help the little (and medium) sized people transition into this next season
It’s back to school time here in northern England, and it’s the season of starting new things. Clean notebooks, freshly sharpened pencils, butterflies in your tummy, the whole thing. It’s long, late summer days, sunshine with that tiny hint of autumn in there. We’re closing in on equinox time, the seasons are beginning to dream about shifting, and everyone (whether in tune with the academic year or not) has a sense of endings and new beginnings, and things returning to what passes for normal.
In our house, we have four children going back to school. This last week has been all about preseason sports, induction days, shopping for stationary and school shoes and last-minute supplies. And of course with all this comes the emotional baggage. There’s some sadness that summertime and family time is over and there’s some excitement getting back into new routines and seeing friends every day. For the adults it’s a little bit the same. I’m going to miss having them around at home every day, playing and arguing and creating noise and laundry and dishes and a lot of mess and a lot of fun – but I can’t deny that I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet. Having space to think and finish a sentence, and having time to concentrate on my own projects. Luxury.
With the butterflies, everyone reacts slightly differently, and the combination of reactions in a family of six can get… let’s say… interesting. I imagine it’s the same in many of the families across the country who are experiencing the same thing. How is your family doing? Or how did they used to be, during these times of academic (and therefore, to them, huge) change?
We all know that our kids are different from each other and they handle situations in their own unique ways, but an extra helpful way of reaching them during these sometimes tumultuous times is to know their moon sign. This is something that I appreciate more and more as time goes on and as we hit these bumps in the road. Normal tracts of life that we have to journey along become easier to navigate when I have a map of the stars in my hand. I’ll give you a few examples. Maybe you can decide if this information would be useful for you too. I’m primarily thinking about children at the moment because that’s what my new book is about. It’s about parenting with the moon, using the moon sign of your child to help you understand and relate to them.
(It’s also about using your moon sign to encourage your own self-acceptance, but that’s a story for another day. If you want to discover and talk about your own chart, get in touch with me for a reading 🌝)Message Jen Inky Stars
Knowing exactly who will best benefit from what approach seems really obvious, but honestly, I’ve been a conscious parent for the whole of my mothering journey, and I’ve read every parenting book I could find. I gave and still give mothering my all, but it’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to effectively tailor my responses to their individual needs. Again it sounds blindingly obvious – so obvious that I’m always embarrassed to say it – but after talking to lots of different people whilst researching my moon signs book, I’m kind of reassured by the fact that I hear the same thing everywhere. We’re trying so hard to treat each of our kids fairly (and also life is so busy and little/medium-sized people are so complex and need so much attention) that sometimes it’s much easier to follow a one-size-fits-all approach.
So let’s all remember – me included – that we are all truly doing the best we can.
Here is what I’ve learned about my kids.
Number one. My eldest doesn’t really get phased by new things. I guess being the eldest makes her the pioneer anyway, but she loves going back to school, seeing her friends, and getting on with a new year. If she needs any emotional support at all, it’s generally of the practical kind. Her Capricorn moon means that she just likes to deal with things as they arise, and get over them quickly. I used to worry that she was bottling things up, not talking about her feelings, and I felt that I should be able to help her talk things out. I didn’t want her to think that being the eldest meant that she had to be the ‘good girl’ all the time, or that she wasn’t as deserving of emotional support.
She did try to tell me otherwise. (This was a common theme for me – the kids tried to let me know, I still managed to take it personally!)
After studying her moon, I understood that she genuinely doesn’t respond emotionally in the same way that perhaps her siblings might. It’s not that she’s never emotional. It’s just that her emotional triggers are different, and so are her emotional needs. She’s practically minded; she likes to figure things out and move on. Her earthy moon means she likes to takes a managerial approach to discomfort.
Number two. My second child also has an earth moon! While she’s more likely to experience emotional ups and downs, and certainly likes a cuddle and some physical comfort, she also appreciates practical solutions. Her earth moon manifests as a need to strategise and organise. We can talk about problems, but while we’re talking, we can be tidying her room and making lists – that’s the best way to find her peace of mind.
Number three. This child has told me that she wants to be left alone, and again, I took it personally every time. I thought that by leaving her alone I wasn’t providing adequate support, and I worried that she was trying to be a ‘good girl’ by keeping her emotions and feelings to herself. What I now realise is that, for her, escaping into music and creativity is exactly what she truly needs to recalibrate. Solitude is her medicine. This is so recognisable to me that I don’t know why I didn’t see it in her before.
Number four. Last but by no means least, my youngest child has an air moon, and this means he really needs to talk. When he’s unhappy or angry, talking (or raging) it out makes him feel better, and most importantly being listened to and really heard makes all the difference. I’m sure this is true of all of us – everyone needs to feel that they’ve been heard – but I think it’s especially true when you’re the youngest of four, and his airy moon demands it. He needs harmony for his peace of mind, so when times are troubled he needs me to be balanced and calm, so that he can literally air all his troubles into peace.
So there you have it. It’s really worth finding out your child’s moon sign and thinking about how it might help you relate to them in a way that makes them feel seen and understood.